


Until the Day I Die

by Kitsune_Sam



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Fluff, Heartbreak, M/M, this fic is going to be an emotional roller coaster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 01:20:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10980372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitsune_Sam/pseuds/Kitsune_Sam
Summary: 'Our lives may not have fit together, but ohhh did our souls know how to dance...' - K Towne Jr.





	Until the Day I Die

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a reincarnation au fic that is filled mostly with headcanons I don't have the time to write full individual fics for. Some chapters will be long, some will be more like drabbles. Mostly I'm writing as inspiration hits me. So far I plan to do this (at least mostly) from Baze's POV, but that may change.

 

_When I first met you I discovered love. Life’s sweetest nectar. It was ours to nurture and cherish. I never wanted to relinquish it._

 

.

 

They had known each other since childhood, growing up together in the little village they called home. Baze’s parents were farmers. He was the eldest child of five. Baze had grown up working on his parent’s fields and helping to herd their animals. He had also been tasked with watching over his younger siblings while their parents were busy with the day’s labour. A task made all the more difficult by Chirrut.

Chirrut was the only child of the village’s seamstress. He was, by all accounts, the opposite of Baze. He was rambunctious where Baze was calm, loud where Baze was quiet, unreserved where Baze was reticent. Everyone expected them to grow apart over time; that they were too different for any real friendship to last. But the reality was they complemented each other. Chirrut pushed Baze into being more adventurous, while Baze stopped Chirrut from going too far and ending up hurt or lost.

They were practically inseparable as they grew up. Or they would have been if Chirrut had had his way and Baze hadn’t had so many chores to do. Baze tried his best over the years to keep his friend happy whilst not letting his family down. It was a hard balance to maintain.

Chirrut’s constant presence in his life reminded Baze that, despite the fact that he was often responsible for his younger siblings, he was still a child himself and was very much allowed to have a childhood of his own. Chirrut even took over babysitting duties every so often to give Baze a break. Baze wasn’t sure how Chirrut always seemed to just _know_ when his siblings were getting to be too much, but he would step in and play game after game with them, telling Baze to go sit down and have a break.

Baze was infinitely glad he had known Chirrut throughout his childhood. He wasn’t sure how he would have managed without him truth be told.

 

.

 

They were seventeen when they shared their first kiss. They had been out in the hills all day, herding the sheep away from the forest they had ventured towards in their grazing. Chirrut had tagged along to help Baze, claiming that the job would get done quicker with two pairs of eyes instead of just one. Baze was fairly certain he would have finished much earlier in the day if he hadn’t had to spend half his energy herding Chirrut as well as the sheep.

They had locked all the sheep away in a pen for the night, ready to be sheered the next day, and now the two of them were wandering aimlessly along the edge of the forest. Baze watched Chirrut as he tossed a stick he had picked up at some point, twirling it in the air before reaching out with his hand to snatch it back. He was chattering away, some new piece of gossip he had no doubt heard from his mother.

Baze found himself unable to concentrate on Chirrut’s words. His attention was focussed solely on the easy grin that spread across his friend’s face. Chirrut was beautiful. Baze had always thought that Chirrut was good looking. A fact that had sat in the back of his mind since they were little. Not something he had thought on, but something which he had always been aware of nonetheless. Recently, however, he couldn’t _stop_ thinking about it.

His eyes slid over the rest of Chirrut’s form. His hair was pulled back in a messy attempt at a braid that he had done shortly after announcing that he would be coming to help Baze with his chores that day. He was a few inches shorter than Baze, not that you could tell most of the time. What Chirrut lacked in height he more than made up for with his personality.

Baze didn’t know when he had started noticing all these little details about his friend. He couldn’t pinpoint when it was that his heart had started to speed up every time Chirrut moved closer to him. Or when he had started to crave Chirrut’s attention, while at the same time feeling more clumsy and awkward when he had it.

“Baze. Baze!”

Baze blinked as Chirrut clicked his fingers in front of his face.

“Huh?”

“Back with the living then?” Chirrut laughed, “What were you thinking about?”

Baze looked at Chirrut, who stood there with his head tilted to one side, eyes shining bright with curiosity and humour. Baze’s heart thudded in his chest.

“Do you like anyone?” Baze blurted out. That…had not been what he planned on saying.

Chirrut blinked. A soft blush spread across his face. Baze couldn’t tell if it was the red hues of the sun, slowly setting behind the distant mountains, that caused the pink flush to Chirrut’s skin or not. He supposed it didn’t matter. Chirrut looked ethereal.

He raised a hand, unthinkingly, to cup Chirrut’s cheek. The moment his hand came into contact with Chirrut’s soft skin he became aware of what he was doing. His eyes widened in horror. He was just about to snatch his hand away when Chirrut leaned into the touch, his eyes closed, a soft smile gracing his lips.

“Baze…” Chirrut breathed out in a whisper.

Baze’s heart pounded in his chest when Chirrut’s warm, brown eyes slid open and locked onto his. Chirrut stepped forward into Baze’s space, tilting his head back to keep eye contact. Baze almost forgot to breathe. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. His eyes dropped to Chirrut’s lips, hearing his breath catch when Baze leant in slowly, giving his friend plenty of time to pull away.

Their lips met halfway, a soft, hesitant kiss that warmed Baze to his very soul. Arms slid up to wrap around Baze’s neck, pulling them closer together while they stood kissing in the slowly waning sunlight. Chirrut’s lips moved across his experimentally and Baze responded in kind. He brushed his thumb across Chirrut’s cheek. He felt more than heard Chirrut’s hum as he melted into Baze’s arms.

Baze slipped his hand into Chirrut’s hair; his fingers tangling in the messy braid. He used his grip on Chirrut’s hair to tilt his head more, deepening the kiss. Baze felt like he was floating. It was a feeling he would comfortably immerse himself in for the rest of his life.

They broke apart, eyes blinking open slowly as they grounded themselves once more. Chirrut looked at Baze for a moment before breaking out into delighted laughter. Baze couldn’t stop the answering grin that spread across his own face, a soft laugh of his own escaping as he pulled Chirrut into an embrace.

“Does that answer your question, or would you like me to clarify?” Chirrut asked, his voice muffled slightly from where he had his face pressed into Baze’s chest.

“Hush.”

.

 

They were twenty five and twenty six when they married. They had built their house together, on the side of the village closest to the forest. Baze’s siblings and their spouses had helped where they could. They were as happy as they had ever been. Life was still a struggle, as it always was when you depended on the land around you to provide everything you needed. There were years where crops were sparse or rain seemingly never stopped falling. The times when disease and illness swept through the village were the worst. But life carried on.

Baze inherited the farm from his parents when they became too old to work the land. He gave the bigger house to his youngest sibling, who had the most children. He and Chirrut had no need of more space and neither of them wanted to leave the home they had built together from scratch.

The only times they were separated for any length of time was when one of them had to travel to one of the nearest villages for trade. Chirrut was most often the one to go, usually traveling with one of Baze’s siblings, while Baze stayed behind to keep the farm (and his nieces and nephews) in check.

He never tired of Chirrut’s dramatic, _‘Fear not, my love, I have returned. Here to chase away your sleepless and lonely nights!’_   announced upon his return. His own greeting was a lot less theatrical but no less enthusiastic. He would claim Chirrut’s attention for the next few hours at least, making him forget that the rest of the world existed.

 

.

 

They were both aging rapidly, more grey hairs than dark, when Chirrut grew sick. It was a strength-sapping illness that forced Chirrut to rest for more hours than he was active. After a while it became difficult for Chirrut to do much without Baze’s assistance. Baze could feel his own strength waning, but the ingrained need to make sure Chirrut was okay kept him going.

Chirrut was lying in their bed when he called Baze over one evening, the sun beginning its slow descent through the sky. Baze shuffled over and sat down beside his husband.

“Baze, my heart,” Chirrut said, his voice barely louder than a whisper these days. Baze reached over and took hold of his hand. “Do you remember the day you first kissed me?”

“How could I forget?” Baze replied.

Chirrut smiled. “When we got home, I told you that I would always be with you. No matter what, I would be with you forever.”

Baze nodded silently, not wanting to interrupt Chirrut but unsure where he was going with this, if it was going anywhere at all. Chirrut had been reminiscing on their time together a lot over the past few weeks. Baze mostly assumed he was trying to fill the time with something enjoyable. His husband had never been good at laying still for very long.

“I’m sorry, my star, but I don’t think I will be able to keep that promise,” Chirrut continued.

Baze looked up, only to find tears collecting in Chirrut’s eyes. His heart clenched. He reached over and gently thumbed them away from Chirrut’s cheeks as they fell.

“Hush, my love,” he whispered as he kissed Chirrut’s forehead. “You have kept your promise. There is nothing in this world that could keep us apart. Not even death.”

Chirrut let out a watery laugh and turned onto his side, Baze helping him when he struggled to do so on his own.

“Lay down with me? I’m tired and I want to feel your arms around me,” Chirrut said.

Baze smiled and lay down next to his husband, wrapping him up in his arms as requested. Chirrut gathered the fabric of Baze’s tunic in his hand, holding tightly as they lay there together.

“I love you,” came Chirrut’s gentle voice, sounding stronger than it had in weeks.

“I love you too.”

Baze stroked a hand through Chirrut’s hair as they lay there, humming a tune he knew Chirrut loved. Chirrut snuggled in closer with a contented sigh as he listened to Baze’s deep, rumbling voice. Baze tried his hardest not to let his voice crack as he felt Chirrut’s grip on his shirt slackening but he couldn’t manage it. Tears flowed from his eyes as he held Chirrut’s body close, his shoulders shaking while he wept silently.

“I love you… _I love you, I love you, I love you_ ,” he whispered as he rocked Chirrut in his arms.

It felt like an eternity before his tears slowed to a stop, and even longer still before he released his grip on Chirrut’s body. He got up and went over to their table. He took out one of the few pieces of parchment they had in the house and grabbed a quill and the small pot of ink. He wasn’t well read, but both he and his siblings had been taught enough that Baze was confident they would understand the letter he left for them.

He knew that the illness that had claimed Chirrut had not passed over to him, and that his family would miss him, but he couldn’t live without his husband, his friend. He signed the letter and folded it. He made sure the door was unbolted before moving over to the bed where he gathered Chirrut back into his arms.

“Where you go I follow,” he murmured, placing a kiss to the top of Chirrut’s head.

He closed his eyes. His strength, his will to live, had gone with Chirrut. His heart ached with every beat that heard no responding one coming from Chirrut’s. He could feel his consciousness slipping away from him. His body felt light, his soul reaching for its partner; its home. He managed to push one last thought past his lips before he slipped beyond the veil, following the path that Chirrut had marked out for him.

“I will always love you.”

…


End file.
